This is your ONE day.
It is YOUR day.
Stuff anyone elses feelings, this is the one day you can be totally selfish (not that I think you are) and demand what you want!

You don't want to 1) have a bad day and 2) look back on wedding photos with her in them upset , just to please others.

I say, pour the wine, pick up the phone, say your piece and hangup and be proud for standing up for yourself